I've been going through some things lately and God has really been ministering to my heart. How it's easy to fall into the hands of the Devil and sometimes not even realize it. God has called me to be a Mom to 5 children...4 have special needs. One of my children has been a very hard child to parent and they keep me on my knees. Someone who is supposed to love me and care about me and my family, has said some very critical and judgmental things for quite awhile now and is constantly dragging me down and making me doubt myself. I'm not going to go into all that this person has said, but some of it is not so nice and some of it is not something I even consider appropriate and they refuse to allow me to educate them on the things that we are dealing with and why. They put it back on me and try to insinuate it's my fault...I don't have control, we must not be good parents if we can't even control our child, we must not be good parents if the police have been called on our child. This person has said a lot of stuff that has caused many tears and lots of heart-ache and I finally had no choice, but to put a boundary out there. I can't continue to allow this to go on any longer. Our child struggles with reactive attachment disorder (we have 3 with varying degrees of RAD) and life isn't always easy, but we are trying to help them through this.
God has been ministering to my heart though. I was listening to "Our Daily Bread" on the Laudate app the other day and the priest mentioned that a lot of us have been called to do hard things. God doesn't always promise that we are going to have things easy in life. Sometimes He calls us to do hard things. However, He promises that He will be here with us, He will see us through it, He will give us grace, and He will equip us with what we need to go on.
In my Revelations study, we have been talking a lot about the Devil the last couple of weeks and how he wants to devour us and take us away from what the Lord has in store for us. He uses the people around us to speak lies into our lives and take our eyes away from God. It hit me this week, that I just needed to continue doing the work that God has set out for me to do and to keep my focus on Him. Yes, my days are not always easy, but God will see me through them. I will not allow the Devil to steal my joy and I will keep pressing on. I'm anxious to see how God uses this one day as I strongly believe that even my child's story will give God all the glory one day and God will use this all for good.
I say all of this to let you know that if God has called you to do a tough job...keep your eyes focused on Him, and don't allow the Devil to speak lies into your life and make you feel that you don't matter. I'm still trying to work on feeling respected, feeling like I am good enough, and feeling like I am making a difference...feeling like I do measure up...however I am going to start focusing on who I am in Jesus and that I am doing all of this for Him and that He loves me. It doesn't matter what others think of me, even if they are supposed to be people who love me and my family. It only matters that I am doing the work that Jesus called me to do and that I am obedient to His will.
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