Self Care

We had a not so great week last week.  2 kids sick with strep, one kid pretty badly.  My youngest is still fighting it and it's been over a week now.  We are getting her tonsils and adenoids out over spring break and this Momma is a little anxious about it as she is my very sensitive child (sensitive momma here too, but she is much more so than even me).  One of my children has anxiety about upcoming state testing and this is her time of year to begin to act out.  Another child has been having a lot of behavioral struggles and I was getting calls in the middle of doctor apoointments to come and get them from school as they were too angry to ride the bus home and stuff like that.  Andy was having to work a lot of extra hours and I was feeling very empty.  Then comes Valentine's Day and I had something fun planned...took the kids to Jurassic Quest and they over-sold it to the point that our family had a very hard time enjoying it.  The bad news too was that a family of our size to go out and do anything spends a lot of money to do so.  I felt like we had wasted all that money, but some of the kids did enjoy it and so I had to realize that it wasn't all for naught.  However, my youngest was still not feeling the greatest and although she wanted to go, she was having a lot of meltdowns too to just not feeling the greatest.  I told hubby that I needed a break when we got home and we got his Dad to watch the kids while we went to Red Robin for lunch after we got kids happy meals for lunch.   We were both on edge and some things were miscommunicated and I wound up fighting tears at the table.  This was just not how I had planned Valentine's Day to go.  Thankfully, the day eventually got turned around and things were a bit better, but we were still dealing with a lot of illness, meltdowns, and behavioral issues.

The kids were off Monday and we all had a great peaceful day.  Just what this Momma needed.  I spent a lot of time in prayer and we've used some essential oils that the kids really seem to respond too and I've tried to give myself time to just sit in the quiet and talk to God and asking to see some answered prayers.  And I've been giving myself at least an hour every day that the kids have been in school this week just to sit and relax and focus on what I want to do so that I feel that more rested.  God has given me a great week this week.  We've gotten a possible piece of the puzzle from the psychiatrist about the behavioral issues and hopefully the next 4 weeks of monitoring will bring us answers.  I'm praying over that one.  My youngest is still fighting her illness and she is getting a lot of extra cuddles to keep her still as when she is more active, she starts fighting nausea and coughing and throwing up.  Still having to give her zofran every day to fight throwing up.  I just want her to feel better.

To top all of this off, I came down with a raging yeast infection.  I can't tell you the last time I've had one of those.  But, it's horrible.  I put myself in the tub after I got all the kids to school today and soaked in a hot tub of water with a couple essential oils to help soothe.  I also listed to my podcast of "At Home with Sally" and really felt like God was just allowing me to rest in Him for a little bit.  Self Care is so important.  I know this, yet it's always the first thing to slip when I get overwhelmed with juggling the kids issues.  I let myself just slip to the backburner.  Mommas...let me speak directly to your hearts...we can't put ourselves on the backburner.  We have to take care of ourselves first so that we can serve our families.  I had the vision in the bathtub of just cuddling right up to God and letting Him fill me and comfort me and fill all the emptiness and voids that I feel.  I came out of the bathtub feeling so much better.  Please don't forget your self-care.  And most of all, don't forget to spend time with God...He knows what we are fighting and all that we have on our plates and He wants to bring us rest.

Hard day...

We had a really bad afternoon yesterday.  One of my children chose to run off and we wound up having to call the police to help locate them.  Thankfully, about an hour later they were found.  They chose to cross a major high way on their bike.  Very very scary and I am so glad that they were not hurt.  Today, I am pretty shaken up still.  Having a runner sometimes is very hard.  Staying in front of their thought process and all this stuff is very hard as this child is very smart and can be very manipulative.  The thing that really gets me is that the child had gotten angry, I thought they were over it, and just a few short minutes later they were gone.  I had 3 people looking for them and we couldn't find them.  After 15 minutes and asking another older child walking down the street and asking them if they seen my child and finding out that they were seen by the field behind our neighborhood that can lead back into some stores or some other neighborhoods and driving back there and not seeing any sign of them...we decided to call the police.  Another citizen, called in to report a small child that was riding their bike on a side of a very busy highway and they matched my description that we just gave the police disbatcher.  They found my child about an hour after they left!  So thankful for another citizen's call in as that helped us find them.  They had stolen money from one of their siblings and had spent the money in one of the shopping strips.  The cops major concerns was that they had crossed a major highway.  My child still doesn't seem to understand how serious all of this could have been.  He almost ran at school on Tuesday at recess and we had this problem a few weeks ago and the cops had to be called to locate my child as they got into a neighborhood behind the school.  Now, this happened and I had to go inform school that they may still be a running risk.  I'm having a hard time getting my head around all of this still, but I am just so relieved that my child is ok.  However, I'm going to spend the day trying to bless others and spend a lot of time in prayer and self-care today.  Taking time to not focus on my problems and just be thankful that my child is safe, but I'm just going to get out there and try to help someone else and bless others.  I have a headache too, so I see some self-care in my near future too until the kids get home from school later.

Look Great Feel Great by Joyce Meyer

I am developing some habits out of reading this book Look Great Feel Great 12 Keys to Enjoying a Healthy Life Now by Joyce Meyer and the first was spending time with God daily.  The 2nd habit I want to develop is learning to love myself.  She says "Never forget that God wants you to love your body and yourself.  He expects it no matter what the world has given you.  As the Bible says "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2).  I am determined to be the best "me" that I can be and quit trying to be what everyone else things I should do or shouldn't do.  I'm going to quit focusing on the fact that I'm overweight.  I'm going to start viewing my body as a friend and doing what I can to support my new friend and know that it's going to be a journey that I need to embrace and enjoy.  I really feel that God is calling me to eat healthier and that is one way that I can truly support my body (my new friend.)...so that is one way that I'm going to be friendly to myself.  I also need to really start focusin on self-care.  I've put myself on the backburner for so long that I know that I really need to start taking care of myself...I have high blood pressure, diabetes, am very overweight, thyroid is majorly out of whack.  I did get my knee fixed so I am very happy about that.  My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.  Darn insurance anyway.  I'm getting off track...but I know that if I start treating myself as a friend and I do what I can to support myself with healthy eating that my health problems can only improve.  So my daily challenge in learning to love myself is going to be choosing to eat more healthy.  It will do my family good too and they all deserve to have a healthy wife and momma.

Will you join me for 21 days of learning to love yourself?  You could focus on self-care or on something that God is telling you that you need to let go of the world's view of what you need to look like or be.  Just pray about it first and I'm sure God will speak to your heart as He did me.

All about Me...

I'm Jessica.  I want to use this space to encourage wives and mothers in different things that God has been talking to me about.  I've been married for 17 years to Andy and I have 5 children...2 are biological and 3 are adopted.  Deidra is 14, Josiah is 9, Emma is 10, Tracie is 9, and Melina is 5.  I'm always trying to better myself for God and to be a better wife and mom and lately I'm really trying to learn how to take care of my self better.  Without self-care, we cannot pour into others...I am learning that more and more.  Just a quick into.  I'll have more to come later.  :-)  I plan on posting on prayer, Bible study, cooking, menu planning, essential oils, books that I am reading, and just being more intentional in my daily living.