Please don't drink while pregnant!

This is a topic near and dear to my heart.  I have adopted children that are speculated to have this...I won't say who as that's not important.  We have also fostered other children that we didn't adopt, that struggled with this.  It's not fair to these little babies to grow up with something that there is no cure for....they live with this for the rest of their lives.  They struggle with learning difficulties, behavior struggles, brain damage, a hard time focusing on things for very long, and they have poor judgment and very big impulsivity problems.  They lack social skills and don't perceive social cues well at all and a lot of times they don't connect their behavior with consequences to be able to correct their behaviors.  They struggle with emotions as well and are very often over-the-top.  It's not an easy life for them, or for the people that have stepped up to try and help them through life.  I know as a Momma I am always worrying about their futures...will they be able to pursue a career in what they are talking about?  Will they ever be able to live on their own?  Will they ever be able to learn certain life-skills?  Will they ever make certain connections?  Will they ever be able to drive a car?  These are just a few questions that I ask myself...it's a very difficult life at times...yet I have to constantly remind myself that we just take it one step at a time and some days it's one moment at a time and I take the glimpses of hope that I get and go from there.  All I can do sometimes is love them, pray a lot, and hope that one day we will achieve the goals that we want for them and they want for themselves without any major troubles getting in the way.  I'm not a quitter and we will keep pressing on.  But please, if you think you can become pregnant...please don't drink...9 months is not that long of a time to give up drinking...think of your baby...you don't want them to struggle in life any more than they have to.  It's so hard to watch them struggle through life with so many challenges....

Tracie

This is my little Tracie girl.  She came to our family at 23 months old.  This one right here was my buddy from the get-go.  She was glued to me and would cry if I even tried to go to the bathroom or to cook dinner.  She didn't want me to very far from her at all for a very long time.  We adopted her when she was 3 1/2 years old.  She has made SO much progress.

She loves to bake and is addicted to cooking shows.  She has a dream to one day own her own bakery or restaurant.  I asked her one day if her bakery was going to be "Tracie's Cakes" and she loved it.  She goes around telling everyone now that she is going to have a bakery called "Tracie's Cakes" one day.  So be on the look-out one day...she just may have her own shop serving the best of "Tracie's Cakes."  She is precious!  She's a bit of a perfectionist and strives to do her best.  This Momma is not a perfectionist so it's a little aggravating sometimes when she's in melt-down mode over something not being perfect, but I guess it will serve her well one day and that's why God has made her that way.

Emma

This is my Emma.  She came to us just after turning 3 years old.  She is spunky and immediately bonded to my husband.  Not so much with me at first.  I'll admit that was hard, but I was happy to see that she at least bonded to my husband.  She loves her Daddy!  She was pretty defiant with me off and on, but would listen to him more.  Nevertheless, I didn't give up.  We adopted her just before she turned 5 and that is when everything started to turn around with her and I.  Her Pre-K teacher said it best..."I think she just needed to know that everything that you had been telling her was the truth."  She was happy to finally have her forever family and she started letting me in more and more.  She doesn't trust easily and takes a while to warm up, but once she does she is very loyal.  It's been hard sometimes to watch her struggle with learning and she has some social struggles.  Her teachers are concerned that she doesn't maintain friendships all that easily.  She has 2 friends in our neighborhood and she maintains those.

She is my little helper around the house, she loves to help clean, she likes to help cook, she likes to look after her little sister...although we are still working on "I'm the sister, not the momma."  She struggles a lot with learning challenges and also has ADHD, so we are constantly advocating for her and how is best to help her.  Overall she tries really hard.  She loves to sing and has a beautiful voice.  She was in choir last year and loved it!  Maybe I can get her to sing for me on camera tomorrow and I can upload a video of her tomorrow for Veteran's Day.  Love you my Emmy girl!

I took her out to eat at IHOP here in this picture.  She was doing her school work, chores, reading, and homework, and helping aorund the house all without having to asked or reminded, so I thought she deserved a breakfast out with just Mom.  We both enjoyed it and then went off to the bookstore to find some new books to read.  So happy that she is finally starting to enjoy reading!

I will get to Chapter 3 of Own Your Life tomorrow...I must go nap again.  I apologize!

Josiah

This is Josiah.  We got Josiah as a foster baby at the age of 13 months old.  He is our little whirlwind that never stops and he is always keeping us on our toes.  As our first foster placement, I thought he would outgrow a lot of what he did as I just thought that it was a lack of boundaries and nobody had ever told him no or taught him how to play.  This little guy could scale a room like no tomorrow.  We adopted him at age 3 and he is now 9.  He loves art and loves to draw and really has a talent there.  I was trying to find a quick picture of some of his art as he draws in minutes and it looks fantastic.  I'll have to do a post on his art by itself.  So proud of him with it....I just wish sometimes that he would choose to put all the energy that he has into something productive, like his art.

Josiah struggles from reactive attachment disorder (stems not getting his needs met when he was a baby by his birthmom) and has a lot of behavior challenges that stems from that as he does not trust adults to meet his needs.  He tends to get angry very easily and lots of stuff is broken around here, so we are in counseling a lot to work on issues.  It's been very hard at times, but we keep on keeping on and persevering.  We love him and want so very much for him.  He is very bright and I really think he could go far with his art some day.  So much talent!

All about Me...

I'm Jessica.  I want to use this space to encourage wives and mothers in different things that God has been talking to me about.  I've been married for 17 years to Andy and I have 5 children...2 are biological and 3 are adopted.  Deidra is 14, Josiah is 9, Emma is 10, Tracie is 9, and Melina is 5.  I'm always trying to better myself for God and to be a better wife and mom and lately I'm really trying to learn how to take care of my self better.  Without self-care, we cannot pour into others...I am learning that more and more.  Just a quick into.  I'll have more to come later.  :-)  I plan on posting on prayer, Bible study, cooking, menu planning, essential oils, books that I am reading, and just being more intentional in my daily living.