Committments

I am going to start making a daily committment to myself...I want to spend time with God daily, I want to work on my physical health, and I want to work on a committment to making my house feel like more of a home.  I'm going to try to post updates here and there as to how it's going.  But, with having kids that don't always pick up after themselves, hubby and I tend to be pilemakers, as well as running a resale business out of our home...there is just so much clutter and I'm not always as consistent as I'd like to be to stay on top of everything.

A hospital stay and a plan...

Josiah really struggled behaviorally at school...the end of the school year is always a very trying time.  However, he began on a path of self-injury behaviors and threats to others that we just could not ignore.  We went back and forth to our own psychiatrist several times trying to make med changes and the behaviors continued and I was getting several calls from school over his behavior and concerns over the things he was saying/doing until finally I didn't know what else to do but to take him in to be evaluated at the hospital.  They kept him for 9 days...I didn't eat or sleep much.  We were only allowed to see him 3 days a week and only at certain times.  It was rough and I hated every minute of it.  I did meet an angel while we were in there though.  One of the workers came in to do paperwork with us and got to talking to our son.  He told him that he was black and had been adopted by a caucasian family too.  He said that he got angry and got into some trouble, but he realized later that he was angry because he didn't know how his birth family could have given him up.  Josiah really didn't say much, but I started to cry.  The gentleman told me that he'd talk with him and that he knew that we just really wanted what was best for our son.  I felt like God sent him on our path for reassurance for both of us and that our son could have someone to possibly relate to.

When he got out, they wanted him to do their day treatment program for 4-6 weeks.  I felt like the daily accountability for his behavior was really good for him, but sadly once he was done things went back to the way they were and we struggled all summer with him.  It got to the point where we could hardly go anywhere as we never knew what was going to set him off and what would happen.  We had a pretty big incident happen at the pool and it pretty much put summer at a stand still for everyone.  Back to the doctor we went.  I kept praying.  His behavior only continued to escalate.  After one day of taking them to the movies and then to get treats afterwards, he asked to do something and after all the money I spent taking them out, we didn't have anymore to do anything else and I told him that would have to come at a different day.  He threw a fit in the car, I managed to get him in the house without running and he went up to his room and broke his window....on purpose.  Came out bragging about it thinking that was going to get him his way.  I made an appointment with our counselor that moved her practice 5 hours away, but who had been with us since the beginning.  We drove out to see her and she had recommended before that we place him in a residential treatment center so he could work on his issues.  She had suggested it a couple of times actually, but we didn't want to do that before and fought it with everything we had to keep him in our home.  However, I told her that I think I was ready to look at placement for him.  I couldn't live like this anymore and hubby and I were in agreement.  I'll share that in another post...it was totally a God thing and He deserves the glory.

I hate being a crab...

I've had horrible PMS this past week.  Add in the fact that all last week, I kept waking up between 4 and 4:30 am  Today, it was 3:30 am after I tossed and turned for a long time before that.  It makes the days extra long and tiring when the kids are up at 6 am.  Andy very nicely took them all to the grocery store to give me some peace and quiet to rest.  I did doze for a little while, but I don't want to risk not being able to sleep tonight, so I got up to get some work done.  I have some things on my mind too that I just need to keep giving to God.  I hate being crabby and I've had to apologize a few times to my kids for being impatient.  Thankfully, they forgive me and we go forward, but I hate feeling this way as I'm typically not like this.  I think I'm fighting coming down with allergies/cold as well.  I'll be glad when I feel like myself again though.  Thankfully, my hubby has been very sweet through it all and my kids have been understanding.

Testing for Melina

We brought Melina in to get educational testing done in April.  Her teacher was concerned about her writing delays and that she was regressing a little bit in school.  I still think it's due to her selective mutism and anxiety, but there was talk about her being held back without a diagnosis, so I called a place and asked for it to be done.  Somehow though, the educational testing was never done and it had turned into a psych eval instead.  They called us in for the results and they confirmed the selective mutism and expressive writing delay as well as the sensory integration disorder, but they wanted another set of eyes to see her in play therapy to rule out Autism.  I got really upset over that one as I just didn't see her having autism.

I took her to her play therapy session and the lady worked with her and said that she thought she got enough and that she didn't need to come back for anymore.  They ruled out autism.  I was so glad!  Reading The Highly Sensitive Child to try to help her more.  Can see parts of myself in that book...even some of Deidra too.  However, Melina is by far the most sensitive of all of us.

Is Personality Passed Down?

Josiah got to be a real hand full this year, even moreso than normal.  He was getting more and more out of control and we were in and out of the psychiatrist's office non-stop for a couple of weeks trying to get a handle on his behaviors.  The psychiatrist came out of her office while I was checking out and came over to me and she put her hand on my back and she said "there is a special place in Heaven for people like you that take in these broken children and have it so hard, I don't know if you are a believer or not, but I just wanted you to know."  I looked up at her choking on tears and said "I do believe...that's the only way that I get through some of this."  I asked her a question about genetics and wondering if something was passed down.  She answered me and said to me "honey, I deal with other adoptive parents and the parents are nothing like the kids that they are dealing with, so you can't tell me that personality is not passed down...nature wins over nurture sometimes, but don't stop."  I still ponder that one sometimes.  I'm not willing to stop praying for heart change though, as I know my God can do all sorts of things and I know if there's heart change, there will be personality change too.

Tonsils and Adenoids No More

Over spring break this year,  Melina had her tonsils and adenoids out due to getting strep throat so often.  She was getting it 1-2 times a month.  She was a trooper and refused to take the meds that the doctor prescribed for her pain, but she would only take motrin.  We finally figured out that the tylenol burned.  She spent a lot of time in Mommy's lap and she slept with me at night too.  I could see the pain on her face and she was pretty tempermental at times, but that was to be understood.  I think she has a pretty high pain tolerance.  It took her about a week to bounce back...we rocked a lot.  She'd get down to go play a little bit and she ate ok, but she just wanted her Mommy and so I didn't really do much but hold her.  Thankfully, Daddy was home with us too and so she went back and forth to Mommy and Daddy and we babied her all we could.  She hasn't been sick really since they've came out though, other than allergy related stuff and a bad upper respiratory infection since.

My #1 Tip for Doing Laundry with 5 Kids

A lot of people have commented on what our laundry piles must look like or the fact that I am always doing laundry with a family as big as ours.  Here is my #1 laundry tip that I started doing when we were fostering and I could no longer keep track of what laundry item belonged to who.  I gave everyone their own laundry basket to keep in the laundry room.  All dirty clothes were put in there and the kids were responsible for getting their own clothes in there.  Each person then got assigned their own day, including us parents.  I would run a load of colors and a load of whites for that specific person and then go put them away when they were clean and then laundry was done for that day.   Their bedding would also get washed on their laundry day if needed.  Made things tons easier as I only had that one person's laundry to fold and put on hangers and put away and I didn't have to overthink it on who's pants were these or who does this belong to?  It was also a good way to know that each person had their laundry done each week.  Try it!  It works and it takes some of the stress off of climbing Mount Laundry!